Determining which type of discipline is right for your family should be a personal choice based on your temperament, your child’s temperament, and your family’s discipline philosophies. There isn’t a single type of discipline that will work for all kids or all families and in every situation. It’s likely that you might take an eclectic approach, where you use a few different techniques from each type of discipline. Learn more about different types of discipline and how to use them. Parents teach problem-solving skills and work with their children to develop solutions. Positive discipline uses family meetings and an authoritative approach to addressing behavior problems. Here’s an example:
A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework. A parent using positive discipline might sit down with the child and say, “I know your teacher wants you to get your math paper done tonight and you don’t want to do it. What can we do to get that paper done so you’ll be able to show Mrs. Smith that you got all your homework done on time?”
Kids are given consequences, but gentle discipline isn’t about instilling shame. Instead, parents often use humor and distraction. The focus of gentle discipline is about parents managing their own emotions while addressing a child’s misbehavior. Take this example:
A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework. A parent using gentle discipline might respond with humor by saying, “Would you rather write a two-page paper explaining why you didn’t want to do your math tonight?” Once the situation is diffused, a gentle disciplinarian would offer to look at the math paper alongside the child to discuss getting it done.
A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework. A parent using boundary-based discipline would set a limit and make the consequence clear by saying, “You won’t be able to use any of your electronics tonight until your work is done.”
A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework. A parent using behavior modification might remind the child of any prearranged rewards already in place by saying, “Remember, once you get your homework done, you get to use the computer for 30 minutes.” Praise would be offered if the child chooses to comply. The parent would ignore any protests.
A 6-year-old refuses to do his homework. Using emotion coaching, a parent helps the child identify feelings saying, “I know it makes you sad that you can’t play because you have to do your homework. Math can be hard and frustrating when you don’t know the answers or it takes a long time. Let’s draw how you feel when you do your math homework.”
